The Great Unknown

         It was long overdue for me to wipe the dust off my blog & make an entry.  Sadly for me, it's for all the wrong reasons.
         I must preface this by saying that I will try to be dignified in this post, but my emotions are not in a stable state as of this writing so this could turn into a slanderous mess.
         This also will cast Kira in a VERY bad light, & while I have very justifiable reasons for my current feelings towards her, I don't expect everybody to judge her based solely on her actions.
         Since I'm notorious for "beating around the bush" & intentionally building things up for dramatic effect, let me cut to the issue at hand:  Kira & I have split up.  Sounds easy enough, right?  Pretty straight to the point. Well..........
          There's WAY much more to this than your average, drama-filled, soon-to-be divorce, & it's very hard to explain.  Only Kira can fully discuss about herself & her issues.  I have tried to be there for her when her depression hit all-time lows, but it was hard to relate when I've had such a good life (self-inflicted issues aside).  I'm also the first to admit that I'm far from the perfect....well, anything.  I have many faults as well, & a lot of these faults became one of the many reasons that led to where we are right now.
          However, regardless of who's right & who's wrong, the revelation I received yesterday made the whole thing that much amplified x100:  Kira had been having an affair that dates back to OCTOBER 2013.  Yes, that is capitalized intentionally. With a co-worker. 
          "Too numb to cry, too angry to reason" is a text that I sent to Kira last night, & it fits pretty accurately.  Questions flowed out of me: Why now?  Why did you wait this long? WHY DID YOU DUPE ME INTO GETTING THIS NEW PLACE & THEN DROP THIS SHIT ON ME?  You know, basic post-breakup questions.  Well, for what it's worth, Kira has taken the full brunt of this & has placed no blame on me, but her mental illness & what she has been going through.  I could try to be somewhat sympathetic, but I just can't right now.
          By the way, this is a recurring theme for me in regards to relationships:  girl dumps Gary, but makes sure to have a gentleman close by, kind of like a dick in a glass case.
          To fully try to explain everything would be a lesson in patience for myself, & my biggest worry right now is my children & my need to somehow remain cordial with Kira for the sake of them so it's hard for me to concentrate on multiple things at the moment, a bad thing to have given my line of work.  To say the timing of all of this (new house, Kali starts school tomorrow, etc....) is horrendous would be an understatement, but I have to press on for my kids.  I have to put my normal happy face that everybody is accustomed to, though my feelings are MUCH different.
          If anybody really wishes to talk about it with me, Facebook is the way.  I can give you my phone number if needed.  Despite what she did to me, I don't want to drag her name or reputation through the mud.  Her actions speak for themselves, regardless of whatever reasons exist for this split.